The Wilder Basics

Whether it’s my hippie gene or the fact that I love books about self-reliant types, I adore the thought of living completely off the land.

Though I don’t.

Food is so cheap and convenient at the Dollar General.  I just can’t let go of convenience.  Not totally.

I like to pretend I’m self-sufficient:  I compost and garden; I eat wild edibles; I stack my own firewood.  But I have never been as hard working as the Ingalls family.  I first read Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House books in my teens.  I revisit these books every few years.  I can read each book in one sitting, basically.  But I always want them to last ever so much longer.

The first in the 9 book series is Little House in the Big Woods.  And ~ yes ~ it begins with the words, “Once upon a time . . .” (Or, as my kids used to say, “Onesuhl Punsuhl time . . .”)

This book reads almost like a food blog itself.  Wilder tells of their way of life in the 1870s ~ and much of their lives revolved around gardening, hunting, preparing and preserving food. It is fascinating to me how they lived and all they had to do to survive.  I can’t imagine how anyone could have been fat back then!

Fresh meat was a treat ~ even to 5-year-old Laura.  (Venison and bear were her favorites.)  The night of a kill, Pa hung the carcass in a tree so the wolves wouldn’t get at it.  Next day he butchered it, and the Ingalls ate fresh meat.  The rest was smoked slowly for days and put up for later use.

Their process of making cheese intrigues me.  (You can read about that in chapter ten.)  They had no refrigeration ~ and didn’t place it in the root cellar even.  It went on the pantry shelf, where it kept nicely ensconced in its hard rind.

A little country store I frequent has golden blocks of cheese saran-wrapped and for sale on the front counter rather than in the cooler.  Even when I have no need for cheese, these shining morsels call to me ~ hearkening back to older (but not necessarily simpler) times.

My kids and I used to make cheese ~ but it was a white, chewy sort that only took a few moments to prepare.  Warmed milk that gets a shot of vinegar.  Strain off the whey and spread the curd on crackers.  This was always a fun snack they could participate in creating.

Spring days were also spent taking baskets out to the yard.  The kids harvested the yellow dandelion flowers.  I would harvest the roots to be dried and ground for teas.  The greens, to be sautéed in a little olive oil and garlic.  I left the stems alone.  (They are a great remedy for constipation.  Enough said.) 

The flowers would get a water bath, then would be dredged in flour and stir-fried in melted butter until crisp; lightly salted.  This was one of my kids’ favorite snacks ~ and they thought it was perfectly normal ~ that everyone ate weeds out of their yard.  (One of their favorite baby-sitters, who was an Environmental Education instructor, taught them to eat wild thistles.)  I loved to sprinkle the dandelion flowers over the greens then eat them together.  The kids were happy with a big pile of the flowers.  (The greens are rather bitter.)

I still remember the day my kids told a neighbor kid that dandelions are edible.  She got scared and ran home to tell her parents.  We were labeled as oddballs.  (“You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you odd.” ~ Flannery O’Connor.)

There were also days of harvesting wild grapes (muscadines and scuppernongs).  Or wild berries.  I would make “berry pie” for the kids’ afternoon snack.

I suppose this was odd, considering the times.  But it saved me a hell of a lot of money.

Kudzu’s also edible, by the way.  It’s so prolific in Georgia, I feel we could definitely rethink how we feed ourselves and the hungry.  There's so much that is edible in our own back yards, but left to rot on the vine.

The Little House books are filled with stories way more interesting than my own tales of living close to the earth.  Five of the 9 are Newberry Honor Books.  Besides, I love nostalgia ~ even if it’s not my own.

RECOMMENDED PURCHASES

Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder ~ I literally get lost in these book.  They may be very quick reads but they are packed full of information on a lifestyle not so long past, but light years from where we are today as a nation.  Books include (in order): Little House in the Big Woods, Little House on the Prairie, Farmer Boy, On the Banks of Plum Creek, By the Shores of Silver Lake, The Long Winter, Little Town on the Prairie, These Happy Golden Years and The First Four Years.

Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery ~ From the time I was first introduced to the character, Anne Shirley, I was hooked.  It was the PBS series starring Megan Follows, Colleen Dewhurst and Richard Farnsworth that did it.  I immediately went out and bought all the books:  Anne of Green Gables, Anne of Avonlea, Anne of the Island, Anne of Windy Poplars, Anne’s House of Dreams, Anne of Ingelside, Rainbow Valley and Rilla of Ingleside.  (Okay ~ I admit these book titles lack creativity, but the content more than makes up for that.)  Though different, these books are as captivating to me as the Little House books.  (They are more about interpersonal human interactions than lifestyle.) Anne is an orphan in the Prince Edward Island area.  She is adopted by siblings Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert, who are aging and need the help of a young boy to run their farm.  They are sent Anne instead.  This is a heart-warming tale about an unwanted girl with “a scope for imagination,” who wins the hearts of Matthew and Marilla ~ and becomes their legacy (of which any parent would be proud).

RESPITE

My Thanksgiving Day was spent with my “brother” Lee, his husband Chris, their three beautiful adopted children, “Aunt” Lori, “Nana” Faye, my daughter Lilli and granddaughter, Fiona.  The table was so full, food spilled over onto the sideboard and a shelving unit.  Our meal was traditional ~ which comes close enough to the meaning of basics to me ~ if I stretch my imagination like Anne Shirley!

Lee, me and Fiona

Chris served a turkey (white meat only) that was moist and perfectly seasoned ~ not easy feats where domesticated turkey is concerned!  Just seeing the perfectly white meat with golden brown crust helped me justify cheating on the gods of vegetarianism and eating a piece. Chris also served gravy, steamed broccoli, potatoes au gratin, rolls, an appetizer tray and just about the BEST homemade cranberry sauce I have ever tasted.

FAMILY!!!

Lee served a scrumptious carrot soufflé.  Faye brought carrot cake and red velvet.  Lilli made tiramisu cake balls dipped in French vanilla.  Yum!

Following are some of my

RECIPES

Cornbread Stuffing

My dressing was a hit.  Chris said it tasted just like his grandmother’s.  (Nowadays ~ compliments like that are more exciting than “You’re hot” or “Baby got back!”)

I used to prepare everything from scratch ~ which was partly a budgetary necessity.  I have ~ in recent years ~ changed my recipe.  But I still start out with the basic:  old left-over bits of cornbread I've frozen and saved specifically for Thanksgiving dressing.

Ing:

Cornbread scraps (equal to one cake of cornbread)

2 boxes herb stuffing mix

2 bouillon cubes (veggie or chicken), dissolved in warm water

Approx. 3 cups water

3TBS rubbed sage

2 eggs

2 TBS minced onions

2 celery stalks, diced or minced (optional)

Mix all ingredients in a large bowl.  I use my hands to make sure the cornbread is well mushed up.  Your batter should be quite moist.  (Adjust your water, if needed.)  Pour into a casserole dish that has been prepared with cooking spray.  Cover with foil and bake for one hour ~ or until it is set and no longer "jiggly" in the center.  Uncover and cook for 15 minutes longer to brown the top.

Sweet Potato Cobbler

1 large sweet potato, peeled

1 cup sugar

2 TBS ground nutmeg

1 TBS flour

2 cups water

1 stick butter

pie crust (I use Jiffy brand in the box)

Cut potatoes into thin disks and distribute evenly in a casserole dish. 

Mix together sugar, flour and nutmeg; pour over potatoes. 

Follow with water, then pats of butter all across the top. 

Prepare crust according to instructions and place loosely over top. 

See the Budweiser in the back?  Hee-hee!

Bake at 375° until crust is golden and potatoes are soft ~ at least 45 minutes. 

I once took this to a holiday dinner and was told by the hostess that ~ from then on ~ she was putting me in charge of desserts every year.  It's not a gorgeous dish, but is surprisingly rich and famous!

Purple Hull Peas

These peas grow wild in my yard.  To prepare them, I remove the peas from their tough skins ~ then I place them in a closed container to be stored in the fridge or freezer.  They can be prepared immediately ~ or allowed to completely dry.

I simply place them in a crock pot with salt, water and a veggie bouillon cube.  Cook on high until peas are tender.  The taste is lovely, and the juice makes a nice gravy.

Chris' Cranberry Sauce

1# package cranberries

1 cup sugar

1 cup water

Boil sugar and water; add berries and bring to boil again.  Simmer 10 minutes (until the berries pop.)  Cool.  Chris adds 3 TBS of fresh orange juice.

Gratitude

I'm part of a group of friends with whom I socialize once a month.  Three married couples . . . and me.  We met up this past Saturday.

We gather at our homes, alternating venues from month to month.  I specifically asked to host the holiday months because: 1) I love how magical the holidays feel, 2) I felt I could do a themed meal more easily and 3) I like to bite off more than I can chew.

Usually the hosts provide the entrée and spirits; we guests provide the accoutrements.  I do it differently.  I make the meal; my guests BYOB and one appetizer.

O ~ and this week ~ a list of things for which they're grateful.

Melody Beattie, in Gratitude: Affirming the Good Things in Life, says "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  Gratitude makes things right.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend . . .  It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."

That's all very lofty.

And I proved it to be true a few years ago.

A dear writer friend had sent me an empty journal and told me about the concept of the Gratitude Journal.  I liked the idea of writing out three things for which I'm grateful every morning before starting my day.

See ~ I'd been depressed for as long as I could remember.  ("A depressed brain is a negative brain." ~ Dr. Daniel Amen) I figured it couldn't hurt to take a minute and a half each day to focus on positives.

Despite my depression, I've always had a sense of humor.  (The two can co-exist quite nicely in one body.)  As a teen, I joked I was Perma-Depressed, but that's only funny to those of us old enough to remember "Permanent-Pressed" clothing.

I was eager to begin my gratitude journal.  What I found was that ~ most days ~ it was easy enough to pull up three things for which I was thankful.  I could express gratitude in sharp detail.  Other days, all I could write was "coffee" or "sunshine" or "underwear."  One day, all I could think to write was "oxygen."  I wrote it three times.  (O3???)

I can say for certain this did not work as well as ~ o ~ Prozac, but it did comfort me.  And ~ hopefully ~ changed some of my brain chemistry before the depression could do too much more structural damage!

I found this small book on gratitude by Beattie on a sales table at Barnes & Noble years ago.  I'd read her other books geared toward addicts and those who find themselves in love (enmeshed?) with an addict.  I always loved her writing, so when I saw the word "gratitude" (as well as the 79¢ price tag), I grabbed it.  I was married at the time (to an addict), so I read it then commenced to shoving it down his throat.

I was helping, see!

I did the whole, "Read it!  Read it!  Please read it!" wifely duty.  (Perhaps I should have been reading Beattie's The Language of Letting Go!)

I figured listing our thanks would be a fun, easy, appropriate game for my Thanksgiving guests.  Why call it a game?  Well ~ everybody wins.  Right?

Surrounded by an air of friendship and gratitude, my guests began to arrive at 5:30.  The conversation was boisterous, and a genuine smile was fixed on my face.  I'd invited my friends to an alternative Thanksgiving culinary experience.  Instead of your standard fare, I served pumpkin soup with lemon sauce alongside a cranberry, pear and honey salad.  Our entrée was spiced asparagus with salmon rather than fowl.  I made stuffing biscuits to go along with this.  For dessert, I served a cornmeal pound cake with an apricot brandy sauce.

Throughout the meal, we shared our lists of gratitude.

And I realize now one of mine should have been, "I'm grateful I actually have a date tonight!"  Because I almost did!

RECOMMENDED PURCHASES

Gratitude:  Affirming the Good Things in Life by Melody Beattie ~ This is a very short (88 pages) book of reminders of what to be grateful for ~ as well as how to take care of yourself.  Beattie's other books are Codependent No More, Beyond Codependency and The Language of Letting Go.  If you are in a dysfunctional relationship ~ whatever the cause ~ these sagacious books come highly recommended.  Beattie writes in a very human way about these types of struggles.

 

Yes ~ I'm actually going to suggest Tofurky even while realizing there's probably not one of my readers who will try it.  It's not easy to make vegetable by-products taste like meat or have the texture of meat.  (For instance, I have NEVER had a good veggie sausage ~ and I've tried them all!)  Tofurky is made from seitan, a wheat protein. A tofurky's texture is firm and meat-like, and it looks like a taupe-tinted zeppelin.   The taste is only slightly off.  (A vegetarian would hardly notice.)  They come pre-stuffed with a gravy packet.  With my left-overs last year, I made Tofurky and Root Soup.  (Diced the tofurky.  Added Irish potatoes, sweet potatoes and onions in a veggie broth.  Yum!)

RECIPES

Cranberry, Pear & Honey Salad

1 # Craisins (dehydrated cranberries), re-hydrated overnight in  water, drain

1cup white grape juice

3 firm pears, peeled and diced (I use two Bartletts and one Asian)

1 cup honey

¼ cup balsamic vinegar

¼ cup lemon juice

¼ cup Italian vinaigrette

Lettuce

Mix together apple juice and honey.  (You may add a few drops of maple flavoring, if you wish.) Add the fruits together, toss in honey/juice dressing and serve on a bed of lettuce.

Pumpkin Soup with Lemon Sauce

For lemon sauce, add 3 TBS of lemon juice to 1 ½ cup sour cream.  Refrigerate until soup is done.

For soup:

2 large cans of pumpkin puree

2 TBS minced onions, re-hydrated

32 oz.  veggie stock

1 cup white grape juice

½ cup heavy cream

½ tsp cayenne pepper

2 tsp nutmeg

Pinch of curry

Salt, to taste

Pour all ingredients into a crock pot and cook on high for at least 4 hours.  Serve with a garnish of the lemon cream.  This cuts the sweetness and MAKES the dish!

Baked Salmon with Spiced Asparagus

Salmon steaks

Butter

Salt, to taste

Place each salmon steak into a foil pouch.  Cover each with a pat of butter, then sprinkle with salt.  Bake at 350° for 10 minutes or until the fish is flaky.  (You don't want to overcook salmon, as it will be dry and less tasty.)

The asparagus recipe can be found in my Hairball-Wall blog.  Or you can simply add a bottle of Italian dressing to fresh asparagus and steam until asparagus just begins to soften.

Stuffing biscuits

¼  cake old cornbread, crumbled

1 cup self-rising flour

½ cup cream

½ cup half and half or milk

1 tsp rubbed sage

1 tsp herb blend (or chicken broth granules)

Mix all ingredients together well and drop onto a cookie sheet in approximately ¼ cup balls.  Bake on 375° for 15-20 minutes.

Cornmeal Pound Cake with Apricot Brandy Sauce

For sauce:

1 cup apricot preserves or canned apricots, drained and cubed

1 cup white grape juice

½ cup peach brandy

3 TBS butter

½ cup brown sugar

2 tsp vanilla

1 can evaporated milk

Over night, soak apricots in apple juice and half of brandy.  Next day, melt butter and brown sugar over medium heat, allowing it to begin to caramelize.  Add vanilla, apricots and soaking liquid.  Cook until the alcohol is evaporated and the mixture is syrupy.  Turn down heat and slowly mix in the heavy cream so that the sauce is smooth.  Just before serving, stir in the last of the brandy.

For pound cake:

1 # butter, softened

1 cup flour

1 cup corn meal

Pinch salt

1 cup sugar

5 eggs, separated

Preheat oven to 325°.  Combine flour, cornmeal and salt.  Using an electric mixer, blend in the softened butter.  Add ¾ cup sugar and blend well.  Add the egg yolks one at a time, then add the vanilla.  Whisk, don't beat.  In a separate bowl, beat the egg whites until they form soft peaks; add the remaining sugar.  Fold gently into the flour/cornmeal mixture.  Place in greased loaf pan; bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes.  Cool for 5 minutes before inverting on a dish.  Slice and serve with Apricot Brandy Sauce.

Mockingbird II: About the Bread

The next reference to food in Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird I'd like to mention is not a reference to food at all.  It's a name:  Dill.  Still ~ that's a name that lends itself to recipes (and ridicule). Wait, Dill, we'll be back . . .

. . .  because the first real, you know, actual food mentioned is sugar bread.  Calpurnia was the house cook and maid, who provided childcare to Jem and Scout when Atticus (their lawyer father) was at court.  She kept the tomboy Scout from mischief by having her "do her letters" as Cal worked.  If Scout behaved, Calpurnia would give her sugar bread as a treat.

Now ~ doesn't that sound decadent?

It reminds me of my mother's cinnamon toast.  Mother would spread a piece of white bread with butter, then sprinkle a mixture of sugar and cinnamon over it.  She'd then bake it until the butter melted.

And ~ yes ~ I altered her recipe over the years.  I'm not big on sweets, but this recipe takes me right back to childhood ~ and that's definitely worth a few extra calories.

Right?

Nostalgia is important to me.  It's why I fell in love with Mary Englebreit's art and books and magazines.  All that wonderful kitschy-ness!  (Yes ~ I'm emotionally stuck in the 60s!)

My childhood was difficult, but there are some good memories:  sleeping on the screened in porch at my Irish Mamaw's lake house, only to be awakened to the smell of bacon frying and coffee percolating.  (This was WAY before Mr. Coffee made all our lives easier!)  I remember playing with my older sisters and cousins.  Once we even tried to make a Six Flags Over Eatonton . . .  You can only work with what ya got . . .   And ~ yes ~ 2x4s sink under the weight of even a small child and don't make very good log rides.  I recall the adults scaling and gutting fresh caught fish on an outside aluminum table.  Washing them in the large white enamel 1940s kitchen sink.  If there was any roe discovered in the process of gutting, it went into the frying pan with the fish filets.  This was my favorite treat in childhood.  (I've since graduated to caviar, but only certain types!)

What does all of this have to do with cinnamon toast?

Childhood.

As a senior in high school in the early 80s, I ~ Inexplicably! Gasp! ~ had the munchies on a regular basis.  Sometimes I'd make my mother's white flour, lard and buttermilk biscuits.  I could eat a whole cookie sheet of biscuits in one sitting. (What I wouldn't give to have THAT metabolism again!!!)

If your tooth is more sweet than savory, the cinnamon toast also works well as a snack.  It occurred to me when I was about 17 that I could change the sugar mixture into a nice "candy" if I didn't butter the bread.  Instead, I spread the sugar and cinnamon liberally over the bread.  (I prefer a dark, nutty, wholegrain bread to my mother's white bread.)

I'd melt the butter, pour it over the bread and sugar mix.  Once I baked it, I was left with the easiest, laziest and cheapest confection.  (An added bonus:  your kids and grandkids will think you're just about the best cook in town.  And you'll barely get your hands dirty.)

I'm afraid I left Dill stuck several paragraphs back.  How can you see the name "Dill" and not think of Irish salmon with dill rolls.  (Well, I can't . . .)

St. Patrick's Day was always a big occasion in my home.  Growing up, we ate corned beef and cabbage (which, in The Devil's Own, IRA member Brad Pitt, explains he's never eaten although his character grew up in Ireland.)  As a wife and mother, I served other (more authentic) Celtic fare.  Grilled salmon.  Halibut chowder.  Butterscotch custard pie.  (As a vegetarian, I cheat seeing as I eat fish! Maybe I'm a fish-etarian.)  My mother served soggy cabbage with canned corned beef.  (Still good!)  For my kids, I served steamed, buttered and salted cabbage with a corned beef brisket.  (The smell's not as "porta potty" as canned.)

The smell of food is important, seeing as the sense of taste and the sense of smell are connected.  I used to wonder if my sense of hearing was also connected to my taste or tummy ~ because I'd gag and lose my appetite if one of my kids mentioned an animal or large insect as I was eating.  (I take a pill for that now.)

From childhood to adulthood, a great deal can happen.  And we are able to carry it all around as memory.  Life did not turn out the way I'd hoped or planned.  All of us are born with x-amount of dreams.  Some of us foolishly used them all up by about age 15.  We were ignorant of the fact we were doing this ~ and we definitely didn't mean to!  When adulthood isn't as pleasant as it should be, I remember the John Lennon quote:  "Life is what happens while you're making other plans."  Anyone's life is worth a novel or two.  According to Stephen King, if you survived childhood, you have enough material to write . . .

I also ~ like the grown up Scout ~ enjoy looking back to find the threads of my dreams ~ weave them with fallible memory ~ and accept that it is what it is.

RECOMMENDED PURCHASES

This is Not the Life I Ordered: 50 Ways to Keep Your Head Above Water When Life Keeps Dragging You Down by Deborah Collins Stephens, Michealene Cristini Risley, Jackie Speier and Jan Yanehiro ~ Published in 2009, this book kept me afloat amidst numerous (like, say, 7) major traumas.  I hate the idea of formulaic books, but I think they work because they make us feel we have some control and aren't quite as helpless as we sometimes feel.

On Writing by Stephen King ~ a friend recommended this book years ago.  This is not only a brilliant book on the craft of writing; it's also almost an expose in the way an autobiography is.  My favorite story is about when King was dragging bags of recycling to the curb when he realized, "Damn!  I AM an alcoholic!"  He got into recovery ~ but luckily for us ~ he has never recovered from writing.  Keep 'em coming!

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote ~ I had never read this book until about 7 years ago.  I go through modes where I want to read all the classics.  (This usually lasts through 3 books, then I'm back to the light stuff.)  I once read that Capote is credited with creating a whole new genre:  Creative Non-Fiction.  That's when a factual book reads like a novel ~ with all the captivating details, twists and turns.  This book certainly reads like fiction.  The DVD Capote (with Philip Seymore Hoffman as Capote and Catherine Keener as Harper Lee) is loosely based on the book.  Though Hoffman is not a small man (like Capote was), he is a dead ringer in this movie!  And Keener is fabulous!

To look at Mary Englebreit's art, check her out at www.maryenglebreit.com.

RECIPES

Mother's Biscuits

1 cup shortening or lard

1 cup buttermilk

Self-rising flour, enough to make a thick paste (not too runny, but not  too dense)

Mix all ingredients together in a biscuit bowl.  Use your hands and just dig in!  Pretend you still like to play with modeling clay or Play-Doh®.  Once it is well mixed, wash hands and flour hands then begin rolling ¼ cup portions in your palms.  Drop onto an ungreased cookie sheet.  Bake at 450° for 15-20 minutes.  A taste of the South!

Dill Rolls

1 can uncooked crescent rolls

Kosher or sea salt

Dill weed

Cooking spray

Open the dough and cut into rings.  Place on sprayed cookie sheet as you would a cinnamon bun.  Sprinkle lightly with the salt, then cover each with approximately ½ tsp to a tsp of dill, depending on your taste.  Bake at 375° until golden and cooked through.

Butterscotch Custard Pie with Meringue

This is not a bread recipe, but it's scrumptious ~ and there IS dough involved!

Pie Crust

¾ cup brown sugar

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup milk

1 ½ oz. butter

egg yolks

Preheat oven to 350° and pre-bake pie crust approximately 10 minutes.  For the filling, mix sugar and flour in a small heavy-based pan.  (I use my iron wok.)  Using a whisk, add milk gradually until it's a smooth paste.  Add butter and whisk over low heat for 7-9 minutes or until it boils or thickens.  Remove from heat; add egg yolk and vanilla.  Whisk vigorously so you won't have a pie full of scrambled eggs.  Spread in pie crust.

Now ~ to prepare your meringue:

2 egg whites

2 TBS powdered sugar

Mix egg whites in a bowl with an electric beater until firm peaks form (like my friend, Kim's, fake boobs.)  Add the sugar gradually.  I prefer powdered sugar because it mixes in better than granulated.  Continue beating as you add the sugar.  Pour over pie and bake for 20 minutes or until meringue is slightly golden.  Serve warm or cold!

'Tis a Sin to Eat the Mockingbirds

My first firm rule of cooking is: clean as you go. I mean; while the lentils are stewing, you can wash up all the used and dirty utensils.  (More about lentils later.)

Rachael Ray has her "trash bowl" where she throws all things superfluous. At the end of her show, she (or ~ more likely ~ her paid assistants) throw it away in one fell-swoop. (That's probably much more sanitary than what I do, which is stand over the garbage pail or compost while peeling potatoes or whatnot.) Think about it. You always see pristine and shiny spigots and stoves on Food Channel shows ~ except Chopped or Iron Chef. But whattaya expect? They're being timed with no supposition of retakes.  (This supposition was busted by the show Unwrapped, but that's another story for another day.)

I can't work in a messy kitchen. It must be tidy or my O.C.D. kicks in and I get nervous. Sure ~ my first rule should be "use fresh ingredients" or "don't serve shite." (Are my priorities skewed?) I don't normally serve shite; but if I ever did, my presentation would be crisp and aesthetically pleasing.

I'd wanted to write this blog about Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities. I still have my copy from tenth grade literature class. But there were problems: First, it's been over 30 years since I'd read it, so I couldn't remember if there was mention of food in it. Second problem: I've moved four times in three years, so I can't find the damn thing.

The only things I remember about the book are:

- I rather enjoyed it, despite how confusing it was;

- Madam Defarge was constantly knitting something with names. As a 15-year-old, the symbolism of this was completely lost on me.

- And ~ I was the only tenth grader in my class who actually read the book and not just the Cliffs Notes.

The book begins with that famous phrase: "It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times."

I guess I'll just have to save that classic for later.

I decided to go ~ instead ~ with Nell Harper Lee's Pulitzer winning novel, To Kill Mockingbird. This book is about hardship, struggle and those pesky and ridiculous (not to mention: brainless) prejudices of the Southern US last century.

So ~ not so far removed from Dickens' tale, after all.

This book is genius. I've also seen the movie dozens of times. The one with Gregory Peek and (introducing) Robert Duvall as Boo Radley. The movie leaves a lot out, but remains true to the main plot.

The book is refreshingly Southern. Jean Louise (a.k.a. Scout, played by Mary Badham) is a very young, motherless child ~ daughter of Atticus Finch, Esq. (Peck) ~ sister to the four year older Jem (played by Phillip Alford, also known as "Boy" from Shenandoah.) This is Scout's story, told in her graphic narrative. (I don't mean "graphic" as in "pornographic." I mean, it's very detailed.) The first mention of anything remotely food-ish is the fact that their sometimes-neighbor (supposedly based on the real Truman Capote who grew up with Harper) was no taller than a collard.

I grew up Southern and Irish. We ate "greens" ~ all types ~ over cornbread soaked in pot liquor. To clarify, that's simply the liquid the collards have cooked in. (On one episode of Cosby, Clair swore "pot liquor" was a great remedy for what ails you.)

I had a friend in the seventh grade . . . Janet was from Connecticut ~ replaced (displaced?) in Georgia. The first time my mother served her "greens," Janet laughed and asked, "You eat this stuff?!? Up North, they put tables outside the grocer's piled high with collards and other greens. They're free for the taking ~ to feed your hamsters and bunnies." She was incredulous.

So were we.

My mother was (is) an excellent cook; but I have developed my own styles. My own likes and dislikes.  My own recipes. That's what happened to the cornbread and collards: they evolved . . . into my own babies (er, recipes).

I used to try to duplicate my mother's cornbread, but I was seriously deficient. I couldn't quite figure it out. I'd mix milk, oil, cornmeal ~ bake ~ end up with a pan of sand. As a vegetarian, I was aware that ~ in order to create a complete protein ~ I had to mix grains with my legumes. Something had to give. I was up to the challenge. I experimented ~ and failed miserably ~ for a couple of years.

How hard could this be? It's just cornbread! My mother kept telling me my batter was too dry. (Obvious!) But I could never quite get the mixture just right. So ~ I persevered ~ and eventually became legendary for my cornbread. Well, legendary among my female friends, lovers and kids. (Friend Warren ~ amazing cook himself ~ says to always use slightly more liquid than you think you need.  Good advice!)

I've found the whole key is to use equal measures of buttermilk and cornmeal.  I also advocate using an iron pan.  Don't use glass or aluminum.  Please don't.  My iron pan is almost 30 years old.  My first ex-mother-in-law bought it for me and my first ex-husband. It's about 12" in diameter (and used to have a top and handle).

I coat the pan with a thin-ish layer of canola oil. I put it on the eye of my stove and preheat the oven to 450°. As I mix the batter, I let the oil heat thoroughly. If it starts to smoke, it's too hot and needs to take a chill-pill. But ~ also ~ you need to heat it enough to fry the bottom and sides of the cornmeal mixture.

Meanwhile, back on the range . . . I use my large 8 cup mixing bowl. I measure 1 ½ cups of buttermilk and mix with one egg. No soy milk. It doesn't bake up properly. And no plain milk. For the proper texture and taste, it must be buttermilk. Don't worry about low fat, either. We're basing this blog on a Southern novel steeped in chaos ~ with survival serving as a primary need. They ate what they had ~ regardless. It was "kill or be kiIIed" ~ "eat or go hungry."

Once the egg is integrated into the buttermilk, I add 1 ½ cups of self-rising cornmeal. (I used to make my own cornmeal. Then I lost the mill to my divorce.) I vigorously whisk with a fork, then pour the batter into the pan of hot oil.

It will sizzle nicely ~ creating the crunchy crust. I immediately move it to the preheated oven. Bake for approximately 20+ minutes. I always eyeball it and lightly touch the top to make sure it is springy.

Voila! The perfect cornbread!

I used to cook collards on the stove all day with just water and salt. Since I work ~ and am my only means of support ~ I have resorted to using my large crockpot. When my kids were young, I was in a food co-op. There were five of us families who went in together monthly buying fresh, wholesale produce. For $25-$35 a month, each family had more than enough produce. (And we all had big families!) Anytime we'd purchase collards, I'd cut them up appropriately, then clean them in my washing machine. Now I buy the bagged pre-cut collards.

No ~ they didn't have that option back in the Mockingbird days. But neither did they have central A/C. It's fine to modernize a classic, after all. (Am I waffling?)

I place the collards into my crock pot with salt. I add water and some hot peppers (to be removed ~ or eaten once they're done ~ if you're like me!) Here's where I succumb to old wive's tales: I add one in-shell pecan, which is supposed to keep the unappetizing fart smell at bay. I'm not so sure it works, but it's habit by now.

In a crockpot, I fix it in the evening for next day's lunch. If I'm going to serve it for supper, I put it on in the a.m.

Now ~ you have two dishes that marry gorgeously and that ~ without a doubt ~ would have been eaten by Jean Louise. (After all, Mr. Cunningham paid for part of Finch's legal work with collards.) Your cornbread should be about 2-3" thick and springy. Because of the texture of collards, they remain firm even after cooking for several hours. (Unlike mustard or turnip greens.)

Place a wedge of cornbread in a shallow bowl. Don't forget to pour about two TBS of juice (pot liquor) into the bowl so the cornbread soaks it up.

You can serve this with sweet potato wedges baked with soy sauce and roasted sesame seeds. Or you can just pop some black-eyed peas into another crockpot as you prepare your collards. Just salt and, perhaps, serve with a little (or a lot) Texas Pete Hot Sauce.

Or just eat the cornbread and collards. Afterwards ~ if you have any leftover cornbread ~ you can eat a wedge saturated in buttermilk. When I was young, this is what we called "dessert." Better than pecan pie!

RECOMMENDED PURCHASES

To Kill A Mockingbird by Nell Harper Lee ~ There's a reason this book is a classic; there is a reason it won a Pulitzer!  It is riveting, well-written and . . .  well, it makes my Little-Inner-Anarchist want to rise up against injustice!  I also recommend the 1962 black and white film of the same name.  (I think it's cool that a man with the last name Peck starred in a movie with "bird" in the title.)

Mockingbird (A Portrait of Harper Lee) by Charles J. Shields ~ Harper Lee is very reclusive and has never authorized a biography about herself.  This one, however, was well-researched and a very good read!

A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens ~ In Dickens' time, it is said, writers were paid by the word . . . so Dickens (being the savvy man he was) used A LOT of superfluous words.  It's a bit sticky to meander through (like the home of some hoarder) but it's a beautiful story line:  Steeped in the French Revolution, one man gives his life for another.  Very touching!

Giant Steps by The Boo Radleys ~ I found this CD for a buck at a pawn shop.  Figured it was worth a hundred pennies ~ and it was.  They were a British alternative rock band that was supposedly best known for "shoegazing and Britpop."  (What?!?)  I don't believe they are still recording, but their CDs can be found on the internet.

I'm at work today; I drove down the road and bought a piece of cornbread served with home-grown turnip greens.   I was in heaven for a mere 15 minutes.  This cornbread is not the sweet, fluffy cake crap you make from a Jiffy mix.  This is Southern cornbread as it's SUPPOSED to be cooked!  So ~ the award for Best Cornbread in the Tri-County area?  Jerry's Bait and Tackle Quik Stop on Lake Oconee!

RECIPES

Southern Collards

2# collards, washed and cut into manageable pieces

Water, enough to cover

Several bouillon cubes (I use 3-4)

Seaweed, cut into small strips  (As I mentioned in my blog "Hairball-Wall" ~ posted on October 26^th, 2011 ~ seaweed doesn't really add much in the way of taste, but it's a wonderful antioxidant.)

1-3 hot red peppers (or equivalent amount of crushed red pepper)

1 pecan, in-shell

Salt, to taste

Add all ingredients together in a crockpot.  Cook on high for at least 4-6 hours.

Sesame-Soy Sweet Potatoes

¼ cup sesame seeds, roasted

2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into home-fry sized bits

½ cup soy sauce

cooking spray

Place sweet potato on a sprayed cookie sheet, then cover with soy sauce.  Sprinkle with sesame seeds.  Bake around 350° until potatoes are soft enough to pierce with a toothpick. These are so yummy!  Sweet and savory marry beautifully in this dish!

Lentil Stew

2 # lentils, cooked                                              

1 gallon water

3 bouillon cubes, ham preferred (though I use veggie stock)

½ # onions, diced

½ cup celery, diced                               

½ cup carrots, cut into disks

Stir fry all veggies until just soft, then add water and lentils.  Cook on the stovetop until well heated through.  If you like, you can add sliced kielbasa and cook until the fat starts to break down.  (You can garnish with cilantro or parsley ~ which happens to be my favorite!  I'm one of those strange people who actually eats the parsley garnish when I eat out!)

The Perfect Cornbread

1 ½ cups buttermilk

1 egg

1 ½ cups self-rising cornmeal

Mix the egg and buttermilk well.  In the meantime, preheat the oven to 450° and warm oil in your pan on the stove top.  Once the egg is fully integrated into the buttermilk, add the cornmeal.  Mix well.  Pour into pan once oil is hot enough to fry the bottom and sides.  Place in oven and cook for 20-25 minutes or until springy and golden on top.  This is great with a number of dishes, including my lentil stew!