HAIRBALL-WALL? (A Different Sort of Hunger)

"How long will we fill our pockets ~ like children~ with dirt and stones?  Let the world go.  Holding it, we never know ourselves, never are airborne." ~ Rumi

In tenth grade, I was addicted to Pink Floyd's THE WALL.  Today I found myself watching the movie.

The reason I always loved such a depressing film was because I could relate to the pain/the wall/whatever you want to label it.  It makes me feel that I am not alone.  That others have been where I've been.  Apparently I'm not the only person who has felt this way; THE WALL placed 87^th on the list of 500 greatest albums of all times.

What shall we use to fill the empty spaces
Where waves of hunger roar?
Shall we set out across this sea of faces
In search of more applause?
What Shall we do Now?
Shall we buy a new guitar?
Shall we drive a more powerful car?
Shall we work straight through the night?
Shall we get into fights?
Leave the lights on?
Drop bombs?
Do tours of the east?
Contract disease?
Bury bones?
Break up homes?
Send flowers by phone?
Take to drink?
Go to shrinks?
Give up meat?
Rarely sleep?
Keep people as pets?
Train dogs?
Raise rats?
Fill the attic with cash?
Bury treasure?
Store up leisure?
But never relax at all
With our backs to the wall . . .

At the risk of sounding pitiful, I have a whole lot of empty spaces where hunger roars.  (I can say this, knowing I am not the only one.)  Hunger?  Roars?  There are millions of ways we can hunger and millions of things for which we hunger.  We may hunger for wealth (or at least enough to get by!); for relationship; for children . . .  I once hungered for security in marriage, only to find it was completely elusive to me.  Just not in my cards.  So ~ I stopped trying to fill that empty place.

There are other empty places which are not nearly as easy for me to ignore.  I feel a hunger for acceptance ~ but only from certain people; wouldn't you know it, the hunger is for the exact people who refuse to give me approval.  Today a Buddhist friend said to me, "Sad how we waste our lives pursuing the things that destroy us."  How could running after acceptance destroy me? 

Author Gordon McKenzie (in his excellent book ORBITING THE GIANT HAIRBALL) mentions those of us (most of us!) who think if we just make enough A+'s, we'll win approval.  McKenzie mentions the impossibility of this.  We can never make enough A+'s to be good enough, lovable enough, funny enough, kind enough, (fill in the blank) enough.  Perfection is a myth.  An illusion.  A shadow cast by shame.

Sure ~ we all know that.  Or do we?

My family is so dysfunctional, we make the Marquis de Sade seem like a joy ride.  In dysfunction, there are "roles" people are forced into, roles to which we become habituated.  I was the straight A+ student who eventually graduated valedictorian, made the dean's list, did nothing much with my life.  (I've since realized I'd rather be "the girl who almost died" than "the girl who almost lived."  Thanks to Buddhist writer, Sharon Salzberg, for that idea.)

My father was always placed in the role of "Bad Guy."  We each gravitated around him, fulfilling our own roles ~ effortlessly . . . or was it?  Stress disorders and auto-immune diseases run in the family. Coincidence?  I doubt it.

Once my father vacated his role in death, the family scrambled to replace him.  I got caught in the crossfire ~ and I am now Public Enemy Number One.  My entire slate of A+'s was instantly erased!

I've spent my life trying to be good enough to be loved, only to find there are some people who will simply never accept me.  Why?  Well, they too have their perfection myths.  About me; about the world; about themselves.  We just don't seem to escape this life without shame and blame (most of us). Two rhyming words: nasty breeders of the perfection myth.

McKenzie tells a story about a dog in a pool hall; a dog he thought was stuffed because it was not moving.  After several minutes, he saw the tail wag and had to go investigate.  The dog had caught a pool ball which had been holed.  The dog's snout was caught in the hole ~ but he would not let go.  McKenzie pointed this out to regulars, who said, "He does that all the time.  He just wants someone to play with him."

McKenzie went away feeling sad for the dog.  He also went away with an important lesson:  "If we don't let go, we make prisoners of ourselves."

What do you need to let go of today?  How about me?  What should I release?  In school, I would get extremely disappointed ~ upset with myself ~ if I made below a 98 on anything.  That's a really high standard to hold oneself to.  Sometimes we hold others up against that same high standard.

I'm learning to let go of my "need" to be an A+ student ~ and just live!  (Easier said than done!!!)  Please feel free to share some of your experiences with me.

The Legend of the Thornbird as told by Bridget Reilly-Long:

There is a legend about a bird which sings just once in its life, more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. From the moment it leaves the nest it searches for a thorn tree, and does not rest until it has found one. Then singing among the savage branches, it impales itself on the largest, sharpest spine.  And, dying, it rises above its own agony to out-carol the lark and the nightingale.   One superlative song; existence the price. But the whole world stops to listen and god in his heaven smiles. For the best is only bought at the cost of great pain.  Or so the legend says.

DON'T BE A THORNBIRD!

RECOMMENDED PURCHASES

Orbiting the Giant Hairball by Gordon McKenzie ~ McKenzie, it would appear, worked three decades as a round peg in a square hole.  He is your quintessential hippie/artist, who worked for Hallmark cards.  The "hairball" to which he refers is the corporate boxes artists are supposed to be placed in.  Well, being the hippie/artist that he is, I'm sure you can imagine, McKenzie refused to conform.  This is a delightful book full of random art, humor and depth.  Although food is not mentioned in this book, it is the book I happened to read this last Sunday.  Because of this, I will share with you some of the foods I created this weekend whilst reading said-book.

Chiropdong Asian Dumplings:  I prefer veggie or leek, but any flavor gets my endorsement!  So much to do with these things!  Yum!  (Found in the freezer section of most Asian markets.)

The Wall, Pink Floyd ~ this album (released in 1979 and which I once owned as a cassette tape) is now available on CD; the movie is available on DVD!  The story goes that Roger Waters wrote THE WALL after fellow band-mate (Syd Barrett) went loopy.  Others say Waters wrote it about himself.  At any rate, it is a concept rock opera dealing with isolation and abuse, ending with the tearing down of the metaphorical wall.

RECIPES

Asian Dumpling Soup

Approx. 1/2 # prepared dumplings

1/4 cup Tamari

2 cups water

1 cup veggie or chicken stock

1 cup dehydrated black fungus or diced mushrooms of your choosing

1 garlic clove, diced

1/4 head of Korean cabbage, cut into bite-sized pieces

Seaweed, julienned (optional)

Prepare dumplings according to package specifications.  (Warning: don't cover the dumplings completely when you steam them.  Too much water and your dumplings will fall apart.)  Mix water, stock, garlic, cabbage and Tamari in a soup pot.  Once warmed and boiling, lower heat to medium and add dumplings, fungus/mushrooms and seaweed, if you wish.  Warm thoroughly.  (The seaweed doesn't add a great deal of taste, but is very good for your heart, brain, joints and nerves and is an excellent antioxidant.)

Fig Appetizers

1# fresh figs

1/2 # cream cheese

Kosher salt

Place figs on a cookie sheet and place a pat of cream cheese (approximately 1 1/2 tsp) on each fig.  Sprinkle with kosher salt.  Bake at 350° for 9 minutes.  Eat before they cool entirely.  These can be stored in the fridge and microwaved for about 35 seconds.  (But they're best fresh out of the oven!)

Italian Asparagus

1/2 bottle Italian vinaigrette

1# asparagus, thoroughly cleaned, tough ends cut off

1/4 cup water

1 TBS sesame oil

Sea salt, to taste

Mix all ingredients in a frying pan and steam just until color begins to alter. 

                                                           Bridget Reilly-Long and me

Bon Apetit

It was heaven on my tongue. And Leon had made it.

I had gone on a bender ~ on purpose. I'd been sober for quite a while. But, you see, Bridget was down from Cumming. Bridget: one of my best good girlfriends from high school.

We're both Irish. We both love (and I mean LOVE) sex. Just not with each other. (We're hopelessly heterosexual.) We adore our kids and grandkids. We still like to occasionally party. We attend rock concerts together.  (Brett Michaels this coming weekend.)  But cooking is probably our greatest shared passion.

When she got to my house Friday evening, I made my tomato-basil pie. It is very much like a Margarita pizza.

I first brown a pie crust. (Pre-made ~ I'm not ambitious enough to make my own crust, though Bridget is.) Then I spread sliced tomatoes in the crust. I sprinkle it with basil; fresh or dried works, but fresh is always better. I finish it off with a nice, thick layer of mozzarella cheese. Bake until the cheese melts.

We ate the whole damn thing!

I'm an herbivore. Bridget's a carnivore. At my house, it's all vegetarian. (When I'm at Bridget's, I sample meat. She's such a great cook! Don't tell the vegan police!)

Next day, we slept late ~ because of the aforementioned bender. I cooked Tuscany biscuits, tofu parmesan and a stir fry of zucchini, tomato, onion.

Tuscany biscuits? I have this spice rack with those mixed spices you're supposed to put in olive oil and eat on crostini. I am a rebel in all ways.

So ~ I use it all wrong.

I pour one cup of heavy whipping cream into a bowl, eyeball the spice; (just enough to color the cream). Then I add a cup of self-rising flour. (There is so much you can do with this basic recipe: just flour and cream. They seriously give Red Lobster a run for their money!)

I julienne the veggies, salt, add to olive oil in a wok once the oil is hot. Cook until the squash has that translucent glow. I always throw the onion in first.

Then I sauté the zucchini with the onion for five to ten minutes. Only then do I add the tomato pieces.

The Tofu Parmesan was the piece de resistance. When Bridget asked what I was cooking, I mentioned tofu. "Ewww!" she said. "I don't Iike tofu!" Later she apologized for being rude and ate two servings.

You buy a pound of cubed firm tofu. Drain and sauté it in heated olive oil and soy sauce. Once it's golden and crisp, you put it into a mixture of egg. Then you toss it into about ½ sleeve saltine cracker crumbs, Parmesan or Romano cheese, parsley, salt and oregano. (Go easy on the salt since the cheeses are salty and ripe.)

Line a casserole with ½ your marinara sauce. (No recipe . . . I use Paul Newman's organic canned.) Spread the tofu mixture over it and bake for 19 or 21 minutes. (I have this thing for odd numbers. As if I weren't weird enough already!) After that, you pour the other ½ can of marinara over the tofu.  Cover with mozzarella and bake for 9. (Minutes, that is.)

Unfortunately, this is one of those dishes that isn't better the next day. So ~ eat it while it's hot.

Bridget and I are chubby girls who used to be skinny. Late 40's ~ grandkids ~ grown kids. No need to be skinny anymore ~ especially when you're addicted to cooking!

Food. What an art form! I cannot get enough of Chopped, Andrew Zimmern, Anthony Bourdain, Iron Chef America. (The Japanese version just sort of grosses me out. I mean, have you ever seen a whole monk fish? Yuck! Who honestly wants to eat something that ugly?)

On this particular visit, Bridget gave me the book Julie and Julia. I already loved (and owned) the movie based on Julie Powell's book. Bridget swore the book was a million, billion times better than the movie ~ which was pretty fantastic. How can you not love Amy Adams and the gorgeous Meryl Streep?

This film started as a blog, which progressed into a book which evolved into the movie.  Powell's idea was to tackle Julia Childs' Mastering the Art of French Cooking in a year.  All 524 recipes!  She succeeded while also telling the reader some pretty personal things about herself.  And she does so with wonderful wit and apparent intelligence.

Powell's first mention of food is Childs' Potage Parmentier: Simplicity in potato-soup-form. Powell is quick to point out that simple does not mean easy.

I've never had this dish as far as I know. But I make some pretty darn good potato soup. In olive oil, I sauté onions and sesame seeds until the onions are translucent. I add diced potatoes, salt and water. I boil until the potatoes are soft. Then I add heavy cream.

I made this (with yeast rolls) for my last holiday celebration with my other best good girlfriend, Lynn, and a few of her seven kids. It was a hit!

I'd found this recipe while hippie-homeschooling. My youngest (Lilli) of four was doing a "unit study" on vegetables. (Thank you, Del Monte!) I only taught hands-on, interdisciplinary. . . learning had a theme ~ so it would be fun and ~ hopefully ~ they'd retain more than I did in grade school. (Over the years, I have altered this recipe greatly.)

Back to Powell's book. It's delicious. Hilarious in that vulnerable, slightly bawdy way. I highly recommend her book to Foodies as well as non-Foodies. For the humor, if nothing else.

And now ~ back to food.

(By this time, I've left the next statement so far behind, I've either built up the mystery or you've forgotten about it altogether. Forging on.)

Heaven on the tongue?

That would be to Leon's credit. Who's he? Bridget's live-in lover and partner.

I hadn't really been hungry for about five days. (Too full of beer, I suppose.) Around noon on Tuesday (of our "extended" weekend), I started getting hungry. Leon likes to eat heartily and often so he offered to make me just about the best vegetarian dish I've ever put in my mouth! It was scrambled eggs "Magda" on fried bread ~ based on a recipe in Michael Roux's book, Eggs.

Leon fried toast tips in butter until they were golden and crunchy crisp. He says the trick is to get the butter good and hot first. Over that he poured a mixture of cooked eggs, half and half, pepper, coarse Dijon, parsley, chives, Gruyere.

It was Nirvana, I should say, since Leon is a Buddhist.

I hope you try all the recipes in this blog. But if you have to pick only one, follow Leon.

Heavenly Nirvana!

RECOMMENDED PURCHASES

Paul Newman's line of varied, organic selections: On the front of every bottle is Paul Newman. That right there is incentive enough to buy his products. On his Caesar dressing, he is wearing a wreath of leaves on his head and looks like an old Greek or Roman sculpture. On some labels, he is accompanied by a cutie who looks just like Joanne when she was young. (It's their daughter, Nell.)

Pet-Ritz Pie Crust: Being budgetarily minded (read that: poor) I used to buy the cheapy store brand of pie crusts. Years ago, around the holidays of course, my local Ingles was out of the store brand. I HAD to have a pie crust, so I grabbed the cheapest brand they had left: Pet-Ritz. These crusts are flaky with just the right amount of shortening. I have never gone back to store brand!  (If your pocket book insists you must, you can spread butter or margarine on your unbaked pie crust before cooking it.  This also helps to keep the crust from getting soggy when baking a fruit pie and even my tomato-basil pie.)

Anthony Bourdain has a show on the Travel Channel. It's called No Reservations. It is raunchy and interesting and intelligent. I love Bourdain's sarcasm, which cannot be beat. (Scientifically proven!) He travels; he writes; he eats; he's hungry for more. He tells histories as well as other appealing tidbits about the lands he visits while he eats his way through each episode. I can't watch this show without wanting to eat SOMETHING! You can find DVDs of Bourdain's show on the internet. Bourdain has also written several books.  Among them: The Nasty Bits, Kitchen Confidential, Medium Raw, A Cook's Tour.

 

Andrew Zimmern has a show called Bizarre Foods; it, too, is on Travel Channel. The name says it all. I've seen Zimmern eat worms, bugs sautéed in spices, the spleen and belly of a goat as well as testicles of just about every animal you can imagine. Every now and then, Zimmern sneaks in a show where the most bizarre thing he eats is a Chicago hotdog with tomales. (These are called "Mother-in-Iaws.") The dog and the tamale go on the same bun, then get the "everything on it" treatment. His DVDs are available on the internet as are his books. You can even read about Zimmern in Second Chances by Gary Stromberg and Jane Merrill. I'm sure it was authorized, as Zimmern is pretty damn candid about his foibles. Gotta love a man like that!

Julie & Julia by Julie Powell: Read it for the food. Read it for the humor. Read it! (The DVD and Blu-ray of the same title are available on the internet.)

Eggs by Michael Roux: This book has carnivore recipes as well as vegetarian recipes. It contains everything but egg salad. But who needs that? That's why we have our mothers, grandmothers, legal guardians and/or Tyler Perry films.

RECIPES

Tomato Basil Pie

Ings.:

1 pie crust

Approximately one medium sized tomato, sliced

3 TBS basil

3/4 # mozzarella cheese

I already explained this one. But I'll make it easier. First: Brown your pie crust for a few minutes. (Remember the butter trick here if you don't want soggy crust.) Line with slices of tomato. Sprinkle evenly with basil.  Sprinkle with cheese. Bake at 450° until the cheese is melted but not browned. Serves 2 or 3. People.

Basic Biscuits * (Easy-Breezy or as my sister says, "Cheater Pleaser")

Ings.:

1 cup heavy whipping cream (please don't scrimp on the calories here; you need the fat in the whipping cream)

1 cup self-rising flour

Mix together well. Spray a cookie sheet with cooking spray. Shape biscuits into approximately 4 inch (circumference) biscuits. Bake at 4500 until golden brown on top. This should make about 6 biscuits.

* You can add any spices you like to this basic recipe!  Or you can serve them plain.  Either way, it's like eating a cloud!

Tofu Parmesan

Ings.:

1 # cubed firm tofu

Olive oil

Soy sauce

1 egg

1 cup grated parmesan cheese (use the real stuff; not that nasty powdered crap!)

½ sleeve saltines, crushed into crumbs (Though most people would use a food processor, I use a ziplock and hammer.)

1 tsp. oregano

1 tsp parsley salt, to taste

1 # can marinara sauce

½ # shredded mozzarella cheese

Heat about a TBS olive oil in a wok. Once the oil is warm, add tofu. Season with soy sauce and stir-fry until tofu is slightly golden. Set aside. Spread ½ the marinara in the bottom of a casserole dish.  Crack the egg into a bowl; whisk. Use this to cover tofu. Mix together ingredients 5-9 together. Toss in the tofu and coat well. Pour the tofu mixture over the marinara. Bake 19 minutes. Finish by spreading the rest of the marinara & mozzarella over the tofu. Heat enough to melt cheese. Serves about 8. No, let's say 9. I like that number better.

Spud Soup

Approx. 5 medium sized white potatoes, peeled and cubed

1 onion, chopped

¼ cup sesame seeds, roasted

2 garlic cloves, diced

1 or 2 TBS olive oil

Water

Can of evaporated milk or 1 cup of heavy cream

Stir fry the garlic in the heated olive oil. After about 1-2 minutes, add onion and sesame seeds. Once the onion is translucent, add potatoes. Immediately add enough water to cover the potatoes. Cook until the potatoes are sort. Add milk or cream; heat thoroughly. Serves more than an Army of One.

Eggs "Magda" (My Cheaper Version)

2 pieces of bread (preferably ciabatta), halved and cut into triangles

Butter

5 eggs

½ cup heavy cream

1 TBS coarse Dijon mustard

1 tsp grated cilantro

½ # white cheddar, grated

Scramble eggs together, slowly adding ingredients 4-7. Set aside. Heat butter in a pan, add toast tips, flipping to crisp both sides. Place two pieces of toast on each plate, spread with the egg mixture. Feeds 2. And, no, they're not going to share!

Don't Move to Kansas!

This is a non-food, non-literature blog.  Just wanted to make you aware that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  In honor of this, Topeka, Kansas has REPEALED its Domestic Battery Laws ~ to save $$$ (but not lives, apparently)!  Thirty perps have been released; Topeka lawmakers consider domestic battery to be a "family matter" they shouldn't have to be bothered with.  Statistics say that 4.8 million women are victims of domestic violence in the US every year.  Of those, 1,181 lost their lives in 2005 alone.

We can't let this matter go!  Read all you can on the topic! Visit:

National Organization of Women (www.now.org)

Feminist Majority (http://feminist.org)

domesticviolence.org (http://www.domesticviolence.org/)

http://www.devam.vawnwt.org/ (The Domestic Violence Awareness Project)

Don't move to Kansas, Ladies!  Next they'll make rape legal! 

Pride

(Note:  Today is "Coming Out" Day and Sunday was Gay Pride Day.)

Recently I was sitting outside in a long-sleeved shirt and yoga pants.  Closed toe shoes.  It felt like autumn even though it was only September in middle Georgia.  July, August and September are usually our hottest months ~ and by "hottest" I mean "scorching."

I live in a small, somewhat prominent town where millionaires and stars come to retire.  This is also formerly home of Joel Chandler Harris, Flannery O'Connor and childhood home of Alice Walker.  I moved here from Atlanta almost 25 years ago.  It was a culture shock, to say the least.  (Churches were still segregated, for god's sake!)

I often joke that I grew up in the Bible Belt ~ and it's been spanking me ever since.

Not so much of a joke, really, for an Indigo born during the Age of Aquarius:  civil rights upheavals; tragic assassinations of the two Kennedys and MLK, Jr.; the first "giant leap for mankind,"  and a big, ole inner fist I was created to raise in protest against all injustice.  (Underdog ~ that's me!)

It was the time of Hair, Godspell, Jesus Christ Superstar.  (Okay, it was also the days of St. Anthony's Fire, better known as LSD, but we were rebels with a cause and we did bring about change.)  In those days, "blacks" were oppressed and "whites" were comfortable for the most part ~ even amongst slight poverty.

I was not allowed to socialize with "blacks" by my father's rules.  My mom, however, snuck me over to my first "black" boyfriend's house in the late 1970s.

By the time I entered high school, "blacks" were able to drink from the same water fountain as my white ass; they could sit any place they wanted on the bus.  (My Native American aunt was so dark ~ with curly black hair ~ she was made to sit in the back of the bus.)  They are now called "African American"; hell, we've even elected a black president before a white woman has been placed in that position.

Considering the obstacles and absurdities, we've come a long way, Baby!

I am of the strong opinion that our newest civil rights battle is over sexuality.

Though my Spirit naturally bucks all prejudice, I was raised to believe homosexuality was a conscious choice and, o yeah, an abomination to god.  (Unpardonable sin, perhaps?  It would seem so considering the way our society has treated homosexuals!)

Embarrassing though it is, I used to believe that blindly as a younger person.  I have done penance over the past 10 years or so.  I write for LGBT rights.  (That's "Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender".)  I send monthly support to HRC (Human Rights Campaign).  I even sport the Equality symbol on my vehicles.

But ~ am I making any real difference?

Maybe I'm too hard on myself.  I was never outspokenly anti-gay,  nor have I ever been homophobic.  I've always known certain friends were gay, but felt no need to treat them differently or tell them they would burn in that most fictitious of places:  hell.  And ~ I was the first (perhaps only?) 11^th grader to go to prom at my Christian high school with one of my best friends, a transgender.  (We both wore formals and heels.)

Maybe I've moved from a partially obscured enlightenment to a little less obscured enlightenment.

When I saw How the Homosexuals Saved Civilization by Cathy Crimmins at a thrift shop, I spent a dollar on it.  I was delighted with Crimmins wit and openness.  She explores the gay aesthetic in society, which took hold even while America was primarily closeted and closed-minded.   Crimmins says we lived in what she calls The Liberace Syndrome ~ because we didn't even realize Little Richard was gay, despite his flamboyance.  Now ~ that's denial!

My first exposure to homosexuality came indirectly from my dad.  Though he was homophobic, he employed a lesbian who wore men's clothing and had a femme lover.  I liked her, although I thought she dressed a little funny for a girl.  As I was approximately 6 years of age when Irene entered my life, it never occurred to me to think of her having sex, much less with another woman.  It took me a decade to realize (and my dad confirmed) she was a lesbian in a committed, long-term relationship.

Crimmins points out, however, that we have all ~ our entire lives ~ been greatly affected by the gay aesthetic.  From fashion to design to art to food to music . . .  The gay aesthetic has dominated American society ~ and we are benefiting ~ even while still denying LGBT marital rights or equal benefit rights, etc.

Crimmins chops the book into three parts:  Heart, Body and Soul.  In part two (Body), she explores the ways gay men have shaped the way we eat and entertain.  From bringing deviled eggs to the potluck to altering old classics to introducing into the mainstream appletinis and cosmos . . .Gay men have most certainly shaped how I serve my guests:  I always provide a bottle of Chardonnay; I decorate with a light, classic touch; I revamp old favorites (like the time I had no okra for gumbo, so I used prickly pear cactus instead); and I keep a bottle of Chambord in case of emergencies!

Crimmins credits gays with introducing our population to chili, pasta dishes, casseroles, roast lamb, hummus and pesto, overhauled meat and potatoes, Buffalo wings with fried leeks instead of celery ~ and the California Cuisine Revolution.

I had to look that last one up only to realize I'd experienced it in Palm Springs, California with old high school (gay and gorgeous) friend, Jef.

I was driving from Georgia to California with my cousin.  On the way to Venice Beach, I stopped over in Palm Springs to visit Jef.  He works for a very neuvo, hip gay designer couple, Larry Abel Designs.  (I can't find a website, but they are on facebook ~ like the rest of the population.)  Their work is minimalist with flare and loads of beautiful, tasteful pieces of artwork of nude males.

Jef bought me brunch: a squash blossom omelet.  This tasted clean and fresh and green.  I'm not crazy about heavy foods.  I like those which feel "clean" in my mouth.  Like Popeye's spinach, only, not exactly.

Crimmins frequently mentions the macho handbook, Real Men Don't Eat Quiche.  Thank god, the gay sensibilities eschewed that concept as silly!

I have a hope that we can all one day learn to "play nice" like our parents told us to!  In the meantime, it's good to open our eyes to see the benefits of having LGBTs in our society! We owe much to gay men ~ and I hope I will see the day when "hate crime" is no longer a necessary term!

RECOMMENDED PURCHASES

How the Homosexuals Saved Civilization by Cathy Crimmins ~ I only touched on one part of this book.  This is a worthwhile read.  (I read it faster than I do most books.)  Equality and appreciation are wrapped in Crimmins' charming sense of humor. 

Tales of Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris ~ I always felt Harris' stories had an Anansi, Puck, trickster sort of feel to them.  Br'er (Brother) Rabbit is constantly thinking and manipulating his way out of tight spots.  Disney made a movie loosely based on these tales in 1946; it is called Song of the South.

The Color Purple by Alice Walker ~ both the book and the film are simply wonderful!  They show oppression, but also strength!

Bobby  ~ This film claims an all-star cast: Lawrence Fishburn, Demi Moore, Anthony Hopkins, Ashton Kutcher, Harry Belafonte, Christian Slater, to name a few.  And it was written, directed and starred in by Emilio Estevez.  I saw it in my local dollar store and bought it unseen.  Well worth the $7 I paid!  Powerful film!

Books about Indigo "Children" by Lee Carroll and Jan Tober ~ Many mystics believe humans are evolving on a spiritual and intellectual plane if not physical.  I don't know how accurate the research is, but I can certainly see a great deal of myself and Gen X in these books.  Great reads!

To donate to HRC (the Human Rights Campaign), please visit www.hrc.org.

RECIPES

Raspberry Fizz

Ings.:

Fresh raspberries

Dry Champaign

Sugar

Chambord (Black Raspberry liqueur)

Place 3 or 4 raspberries in a Champaign flute.  Add ½ tsp sugar.  Cover with Chambord, then fill the rest of the glass with Champaign.  Yum!  I experienced this taste sensation at a get-together at one of my favorite gay couples' home.  It now plays a large part in my own entertaining.

Hummus

Ings.:

½  # bag Garbanzo beans, cooked until soft

Liquid from beans

3 cloves garlic, minced

salt (to taste)

5 tsp lemon juice

2 TBS tahini (sesame paste)

Olive oil

In a blender, mix all ingredients except the liquid from the beans.  Slowly add the liquid to help blend the ingredients, but make sure it has a pasty texture; (not too fluid, not too thick). Serve with pita chips, pita bread or wheat chips of your choice.

Prickly Pear "Okra" Fried

Ings.:

One large cactus "paddle" * (Must be cleaned of the pricklies!  I happen to harvest them from the wild, but some gourmet grocers carry them already cleaned.)

½ cup cornmeal

½ cup self-rising flour

2 TBS chili powder

salt (to taste)

Canola oil (for frying)

Dice cactus into bite-sized pieces.  (They are "slimy" like okra and have a stronger taste; slightly tangy.)  Mix cornmeal, flour and chili powder together.  Toss cactus in the cornmeal mixture and cover well.  Meanwhile, bring oil to a temperature conducive to frying.  Drop in cactus and fry until golden and crisp.  Drain then serve.  One of my friends who refuses to eat okra loves this version!

* Prickly Pear is also known as opuntia or nopales.

Basic Quiche

Ings.:

6 or 7 eggs

Pie crust

½ cup cream

1 cup shredded cheese, your choice

Any vegetable (broccoli, onion, cauliflower) or meat (bacon, ham, chicken) or a mixture of veggies and meat.

Blend eggs and cream until well integrated.  Line the bottom of the pie crust with your veg/meat.  Follow with cheese.  (It will rise as it cooks.)  Cover well with egg mixture.  Bake at 350° for 45 minutes or until the center is well set.

Mustard Deviled Eggs

Ing.:

½ dozen eggs, hard boiled

Coarse Dijon mustard, to taste

Salt, to taste

Ground red pepper or chili, depending on your taste

Cut eggs into two equal pieces, then scoop out the yolks.  Place yolks in a bowl with ingredients 2-4.  Mash together, tasting occasionally to make sure you are achieving the amount of spice you prefer.  (Remember, they can mellow after sitting.)  Refill the egg whites with the yolk mixture.  Serve immediately or cool in the fridge until ready to serve.

Eating My Words: First Installment

I intend to write about food. And about words. It's a strange brew ~ but hear me out.

I've been writing since I could write. (Notice I didn't say I've been writing well. . .) And I've been eating for even longer than that. (I do that pretty well.) As a middle school kid, I began showing an interest in Shakespeare and cooking. My parents had always surrounded me with books: Time-Life Series on WWII, leather bound classics, a set on the facts of life and everything by Leon Uris (which I was not allowed to read. So ~ of course – I read QB VII.)

My Irish mother often cooked full-fattening-Southern-fried meals in the evenings. But she also experimented. Like the time she had some slightly wilted salad she couldn't bear to throw out. Instead she made an Asian-style soup with it, accompanied by sesame rolls as accessories. I was about 13 ~ and there's no good reason I remember that one meal out of the thousands my mother served.

Except it was good. I like things that are good. Also it was creative.

I love all things creative!

So ~ when I showed an interest, my semi-hippie-mother said, "Have at it!" She gave me the run of the kitchen one evening. It was like Iron Chef. Or Chopped.

Only worse.

I pulled out cubed steak and plopped it in a pan. Then I proceeded to add a little bit of everything in the kitchen. Yes, even (don't laugh) instant oatmeal.

I was being creative.

It was utterly inedible, although the individual parts were, in reality, edible. My mother and grandmother praised me as they tried to dig their meat out from the paste I'd ensconced it in.

(All these years later, I can say I've improved. I still love cooking as a creative act, but I'm a little better at judging what tastes and textures work well together.)

At 20-something, I gave up all processed foods. 0 yeah ~ and meat. I raised my 4 kids primarily on simple vegetarian fare. They often told me, "Mommy, you're the best cooker!" (But, then again, our Asian neighbor wouldn't touch what I cooked.) I admit I wasn't very imaginative during those years. There were other priorities ~ and I set my focus on using my imagination in homeschooling said-children. I did, however, learn to eat tofu with soy sauce and chives. It tastes Iike the cottage cheese and powdered French onion soup mix my mother used to feed me when I was a kid.

When my nest began to empty (Papa Bird ended up flying the coop, as well), I began having time to be artistic in my cooking once again. (Only problem was: I no longer had anyone for whom to cook!)

At that point, the only "marriage" I cared about was that of flavors. I became more passionate about food than ever before. I began growing, experimenting, learning. I threw dinner parties. I hung out with other Foodies. I stood ten feet from Paula, Jamie and Bobbie. I became a disciple of Anthony Bourdain.

Throughout this evolutionary process, I never lost my first love: words. I added cookbooks to my repertoire of books read cover to cover. I read ~ and ~ write quite obsessively. (I like to overachieve in the area of O.C.D., which is sort of a redundant thing to say.)

One night an angel inspired me. A perverse angel. Okay ~ it was Anthony Bourdain. I was watching one of the dozens of No Reservations episodes I'd recorded. Bourdain said something about eating his words. Old saying; it means you're wrong and you regret it. (I tried to find the origin of this phrase, but couldn't. I wanted you to think I'm as smart as Bourdain or at least his research team.)

When Bourdain said it, all I could think was, "Eat. . . Words. . . I could combine the two."

Thus was born this blog: the blending of my two passions. My two main passions. (I'll leave the other to your imagination.)

I plan to explore classics in literature, as well as those obscure dollar store books you purchase on a whim ~ and end up loving.

Stick with me. This is going to be fun!

RECOMMENDED PURCHASES

QB VII by Leon Uris: Uris' books are often about the Holocaust. Uris himself was the son of Jewish-American parents. He passed away at the age of 78, after publishing nearly 20 books. QB VII is a very sad ~ and graphic ~ novel depicting tortures (in the name of "science") by the Nazis. It also features redemption caked in reality. It has believable characters. Some are even likeable!

Iron Chef America (numerous DVDs available on the internet). Those who are familiar with the series know just how creative the chefs must be with their "mystery ingredient." I can watch these over and over and over!

This is not technically a purchase . . . Chopped ~ These DVDs are harder to find. . . Do they exist? Write me and let me know. Thanks! If not, catch the show on Food Network in the PM. Check your local listings. You can also check out entire episodes on www.hulu.com/chopped.  This show kicks up the creative factor a notch by throwing some random ingredients into the mystery baskets like: chicken, red onions, Dijon mustard and fruit roll-ups. Four chefs make an appetizer with these ingredients. One gets "chopped" after the appetizers are tasted and judged. Next comes the entree they must make out of bizarre ingredients. Maybe lime pickles, shrimp, pasta and chocolate breakfast cereal. The judges "chop" one more after the tasting. The remaining two chefs must make dessert out of, say, risotto, bacon, maple syrup, corn tortillas and ketchup. It's fascinating to watch the creativity of these chefs while they're being timed. But could someone please teach judge Alex Guarnaschelli to sneer less and smile a little more?

RECIPES

Tofu with Soy Sauce and Chives

Ings.:

1 # block of firm tofu, drained and patted dry

Soy sauce

Fresh chives

With a knife, poke holes randomly all over the top of the tofu block. Sprinkle liberally with soy sauce; then sprinkle with fresh chives, to taste. Cut into portions and serve. You may add more soy sauce if you like. (I know I do!) Serves everyone at your party as long as your party's small.

Mother's Cottage Cheese

Ings.:

1 ½ cups large curd cottage cheese

Approx ¼-½ pack French onion soup powder, to taste (shake well, as the onions drop to the bottom)

In a bowl, add ingredients and stir thoroughly. Let sit for a few minutes to allow the onions to slightly hydrate. Serves one hungry person or twenty five anorexics.

A (Good) Cubed Steak Recipe

4 cubed steaks

1 can cream of mushroom soup

3-4 cups cooked brown rice

Pan sear the cubed steaks; set aside. Spray a casserole dish and spread rice evenly in the bottom. Add steak, then evenly distribute the cream of mushroom soup over steak and rice. Cover with foil. Bake at 450° until steak is thoroughly cooked ~ at least 30 minutes. Serves four carnivores and two vegetarians. (No vegans allowed.)