Gratitude

I'm part of a group of friends with whom I socialize once a month.  Three married couples . . . and me.  We met up this past Saturday.

We gather at our homes, alternating venues from month to month.  I specifically asked to host the holiday months because: 1) I love how magical the holidays feel, 2) I felt I could do a themed meal more easily and 3) I like to bite off more than I can chew.

Usually the hosts provide the entrée and spirits; we guests provide the accoutrements.  I do it differently.  I make the meal; my guests BYOB and one appetizer.

O ~ and this week ~ a list of things for which they're grateful.

Melody Beattie, in Gratitude: Affirming the Good Things in Life, says "Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  Gratitude makes things right.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend . . .  It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."

That's all very lofty.

And I proved it to be true a few years ago.

A dear writer friend had sent me an empty journal and told me about the concept of the Gratitude Journal.  I liked the idea of writing out three things for which I'm grateful every morning before starting my day.

See ~ I'd been depressed for as long as I could remember.  ("A depressed brain is a negative brain." ~ Dr. Daniel Amen) I figured it couldn't hurt to take a minute and a half each day to focus on positives.

Despite my depression, I've always had a sense of humor.  (The two can co-exist quite nicely in one body.)  As a teen, I joked I was Perma-Depressed, but that's only funny to those of us old enough to remember "Permanent-Pressed" clothing.

I was eager to begin my gratitude journal.  What I found was that ~ most days ~ it was easy enough to pull up three things for which I was thankful.  I could express gratitude in sharp detail.  Other days, all I could write was "coffee" or "sunshine" or "underwear."  One day, all I could think to write was "oxygen."  I wrote it three times.  (O3???)

I can say for certain this did not work as well as ~ o ~ Prozac, but it did comfort me.  And ~ hopefully ~ changed some of my brain chemistry before the depression could do too much more structural damage!

I found this small book on gratitude by Beattie on a sales table at Barnes & Noble years ago.  I'd read her other books geared toward addicts and those who find themselves in love (enmeshed?) with an addict.  I always loved her writing, so when I saw the word "gratitude" (as well as the 79¢ price tag), I grabbed it.  I was married at the time (to an addict), so I read it then commenced to shoving it down his throat.

I was helping, see!

I did the whole, "Read it!  Read it!  Please read it!" wifely duty.  (Perhaps I should have been reading Beattie's The Language of Letting Go!)

I figured listing our thanks would be a fun, easy, appropriate game for my Thanksgiving guests.  Why call it a game?  Well ~ everybody wins.  Right?

Surrounded by an air of friendship and gratitude, my guests began to arrive at 5:30.  The conversation was boisterous, and a genuine smile was fixed on my face.  I'd invited my friends to an alternative Thanksgiving culinary experience.  Instead of your standard fare, I served pumpkin soup with lemon sauce alongside a cranberry, pear and honey salad.  Our entrée was spiced asparagus with salmon rather than fowl.  I made stuffing biscuits to go along with this.  For dessert, I served a cornmeal pound cake with an apricot brandy sauce.

Throughout the meal, we shared our lists of gratitude.

And I realize now one of mine should have been, "I'm grateful I actually have a date tonight!"  Because I almost did!

RECOMMENDED PURCHASES

Gratitude:  Affirming the Good Things in Life by Melody Beattie ~ This is a very short (88 pages) book of reminders of what to be grateful for ~ as well as how to take care of yourself.  Beattie's other books are Codependent No More, Beyond Codependency and The Language of Letting Go.  If you are in a dysfunctional relationship ~ whatever the cause ~ these sagacious books come highly recommended.  Beattie writes in a very human way about these types of struggles.

 

Yes ~ I'm actually going to suggest Tofurky even while realizing there's probably not one of my readers who will try it.  It's not easy to make vegetable by-products taste like meat or have the texture of meat.  (For instance, I have NEVER had a good veggie sausage ~ and I've tried them all!)  Tofurky is made from seitan, a wheat protein. A tofurky's texture is firm and meat-like, and it looks like a taupe-tinted zeppelin.   The taste is only slightly off.  (A vegetarian would hardly notice.)  They come pre-stuffed with a gravy packet.  With my left-overs last year, I made Tofurky and Root Soup.  (Diced the tofurky.  Added Irish potatoes, sweet potatoes and onions in a veggie broth.  Yum!)

RECIPES

Cranberry, Pear & Honey Salad

1 # Craisins (dehydrated cranberries), re-hydrated overnight in  water, drain

1cup white grape juice

3 firm pears, peeled and diced (I use two Bartletts and one Asian)

1 cup honey

¼ cup balsamic vinegar

¼ cup lemon juice

¼ cup Italian vinaigrette

Lettuce

Mix together apple juice and honey.  (You may add a few drops of maple flavoring, if you wish.) Add the fruits together, toss in honey/juice dressing and serve on a bed of lettuce.

Pumpkin Soup with Lemon Sauce

For lemon sauce, add 3 TBS of lemon juice to 1 ½ cup sour cream.  Refrigerate until soup is done.

For soup:

2 large cans of pumpkin puree

2 TBS minced onions, re-hydrated

32 oz.  veggie stock

1 cup white grape juice

½ cup heavy cream

½ tsp cayenne pepper

2 tsp nutmeg

Pinch of curry

Salt, to taste

Pour all ingredients into a crock pot and cook on high for at least 4 hours.  Serve with a garnish of the lemon cream.  This cuts the sweetness and MAKES the dish!

Baked Salmon with Spiced Asparagus

Salmon steaks

Butter

Salt, to taste

Place each salmon steak into a foil pouch.  Cover each with a pat of butter, then sprinkle with salt.  Bake at 350° for 10 minutes or until the fish is flaky.  (You don't want to overcook salmon, as it will be dry and less tasty.)

The asparagus recipe can be found in my Hairball-Wall blog.  Or you can simply add a bottle of Italian dressing to fresh asparagus and steam until asparagus just begins to soften.

Stuffing biscuits

¼  cake old cornbread, crumbled

1 cup self-rising flour

½ cup cream

½ cup half and half or milk

1 tsp rubbed sage

1 tsp herb blend (or chicken broth granules)

Mix all ingredients together well and drop onto a cookie sheet in approximately ¼ cup balls.  Bake on 375° for 15-20 minutes.

Cornmeal Pound Cake with Apricot Brandy Sauce

For sauce:

1 cup apricot preserves or canned apricots, drained and cubed

1 cup white grape juice

½ cup peach brandy

3 TBS butter

½ cup brown sugar

2 tsp vanilla

1 can evaporated milk

Over night, soak apricots in apple juice and half of brandy.  Next day, melt butter and brown sugar over medium heat, allowing it to begin to caramelize.  Add vanilla, apricots and soaking liquid.  Cook until the alcohol is evaporated and the mixture is syrupy.  Turn down heat and slowly mix in the heavy cream so that the sauce is smooth.  Just before serving, stir in the last of the brandy.

For pound cake:

1 # butter, softened

1 cup flour

1 cup corn meal

Pinch salt

1 cup sugar

5 eggs, separated

Preheat oven to 325°.  Combine flour, cornmeal and salt.  Using an electric mixer, blend in the softened butter.  Add ¾ cup sugar and blend well.  Add the egg yolks one at a time, then add the vanilla.  Whisk, don't beat.  In a separate bowl, beat the egg whites until they form soft peaks; add the remaining sugar.  Fold gently into the flour/cornmeal mixture.  Place in greased loaf pan; bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes.  Cool for 5 minutes before inverting on a dish.  Slice and serve with Apricot Brandy Sauce.